Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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