i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize