wat bout pragnant strippers??
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
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Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
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Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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