Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
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Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
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Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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