But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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