discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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