True but thats because hes a fetus.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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