just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
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He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
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Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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