I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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