And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
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So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
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Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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