left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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