I just pynch a tree in the face
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize