just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
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New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
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I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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