I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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