whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize