You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
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Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
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Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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