Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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