half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He shit in the fireplace
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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