Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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