i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
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