So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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