i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
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No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
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Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize