Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He uses pillows to masturbate.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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