I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize