the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
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I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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