He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize