ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
foreskin is a definite game changer
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize