Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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