Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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