just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
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Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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