Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
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