I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize