as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My butt remains clenched, sir.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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