I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize