Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Ambien. No doubt about it.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize