So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
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hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
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My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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