Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
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You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
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Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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