If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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