Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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