Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
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I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
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I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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