Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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