umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize