So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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