im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize