Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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