just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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