who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Let's get the cat blown out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize