fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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