he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
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I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
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He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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