Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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